Essay 3 - 2024. My Personal Fight with Stage 4 Cancer or CLL. The Cancer CLL Pill Calquence. One Very Powerful Drug. And for 20,000 to 40,000 US Dollars a Bottle, It Better Be Powerful. By: Mr. George D. Patnoe. January 19, 2024.

Essay 3 - 2024. My Personal Fight with Stage 4 Cancer or CLL.

The Cancer CLL Pill Calquence. One Very Powerful Drug.

And for 20,000 to 40,000 US Dollars a Bottle, It Better Be Powerful.

By: Mr. George D. Patnoe.

January 19, 2024.

Well my dear readers, if you have made it to essay three, or even if you have not made it to essay three, this essay is going to be about one of most powerful and most expensive cancer drugs/pills in the history of cancer research because I am presuming because my oncologist told me that it was the latest and most powerful cancer pill for CLL cancer that has been approved by the FDA.

Just in case none of you do not know what an oncologist is; “Medical oncologists are doctors who diagnose, assess, treat, and manage patients with cancers. Their goal is to provide the best possible outcomes for their cancer patients, whether that's a cure or palliative care.” (From the web.)

That is what they chose as a professional life, which might be one of hardest professions in the world because even though their goal is to help and cure cancer patients, in the end, they know that most, if not all of their cancer patients might suffer horribly to the end of their human lives, or they might just suffer until they are cured of cancer. Or they might help cure cancer patients.

My oncologist has been really great from the beginning. After she had read the five hard copies of blood tests papers from my primary care doctor which I had brought with me, bang, she was on the case helping me with my new adventure with stage 4 cancer, CLL, and with my own battle with life and death. Stage 4 cancer means your biological body is dying from cancer, either slowly or quickly.

When she told me that I was going to be taking the most powerful cancer pill for CLL to date, I did not know how powerful a drug could be on a chemical level. When I received the first brown box with the Calquence in it, I saw the big warning words on the yellow plastic bag that the chemo-pills came in. On the label. Warning. Hazardous Drug. Safety Precautions Required for Handling, Transport, and Disposal. Some scary words, but for good reasons.

I looked inside the bottle. I looked at the pills. I wondered about those chemo-pills, the years, the decades of research and the money that was spent to find the exact chemicals and chemical reactions that led up to this point of me, the biological me that is, not the real spiritual me, that would swallow the first pill in my human life that I actually needed to take to stay alive, biologically alive that is, if I was going to actually live after I took bottles of chemo-pills or days, months, and maybe years.

How many days, months, years, decades of money, research, dedication and devotion of people, scientists, medical and biochemistry research and other fields of scientific and medical research, time and energy, sweat and ‘blood’ of countless numbers of people? I cannot even imagine the answers to those questions. I am not even going to try, or even to look it up on Google. Do you know what you cannot look up on Google, what is it like to be dying, to cross over and return to life. I do! But maybe some of you have had your own personal experiences with dying and death.

I have died and returned to life many times, or least more than most if not all of my readers. Of course, I know that a lot of people have come close to dying and death, and they too, survived for another day of living on planet earth. I wonder how many people were actually changed by the experience of dying, being close to death, and then pulling through to live again.

How many hours of looking through high-power microscopes in a university for a medical degree? How many hours looking through high-power microscopes in research laboratories to look at and see and study the red and white cells, and the chemo-chemicals and cancer cells until the chemo-chemicals won the cellular biological fight for the biological cellular battle of life and death. Are there different realms of existence beside the biological realm of existence? How about the invisible realm termed consciousness? More on that later in other essays.

How many books were read and how many research papers were written to get published for other people to read, study, and pray that someone, some group of people, or even a large corporation would find the treatment, the exact chemical elements and processes that would kill all of the different cancer cells in hundreds of millions or more cancer patients around the world?

Can I give you readers an example of how powerful the CLL cancer pill is compared to other drugs? Before my adventure with dying and death again, I was an exerciser, meaning every day I exercised in one way or another way. Some of those exercises were easy- peasy, other workouts were a real bitch, like climbing a mountain up to three thousand feet and then back down to the car or truck. When I did extra-long workouts like climbing a mountain, I used some other chemicals like coffee and other stuff to help me survive the climb up and the climb down.

Fast forward to the current time period, two years after I started the chemical drug, Calquence.

About 3 months ago, I needed to drive somewhere for about an hour away from my house. So, I had a can of diet Pepsi before I got out of bed, a half of a GNC energy pill, and a cup of K-cup coffee. I was flying like a kite in a manner of speaking. I decided to take a Calquence pill as I was taking a shower in the middle of taking my caffeine mixtures. So about 300 mgs of caffeine later, with a Calquence pill in my biological system, driving down the road about twenty minutes down the road, my eyes were closing, wanting to go to sleep while the car was moving about seventy miles an hour.

Of course, I snapped out of it so I would not crash my car into another car or something else. My point here is that after almost two years of taking the CLL cancer drug Calquence, when my body was used to the drug, when the CLL cancer was mostly gone because I was in remission, the drug Calquence was so powerful, the chemicals are still so powerful that they could almost put me to sleep after 300 mgs of caffeine. It was the first and last time I would take CLL cancer drug before driving a car, bike, motorcycle, fly an airplane.

Now that you know how powerful the drug is after two years of taking it, when the drug was not really destroying cancer cells like it was in the beginning six months, can you imagine how powerful it was the first time I took it, in the beginning of my personal fight and battle with stage 4 cancer?

The drug that was designed to search out and destroy cancer cells that were searching out and destroying and killing my good blood cells and body organs. I have taken a number of different kinds of chemicals throughout my life and all of those drugs were completely nothing compared to the chemicals in the CLL cancer drug Calquence. I would soon enter a period of absolute darkness when the actual fight and battle started to take place between the cancer drug Calquence and the cancer cells that were inside my biological body.

But here is the real question my dear readers. Does life and death exist only on a cellular biological level of existence, or are there other realms of life and existence besides and beyond the biological life that humans and all biological creatures call life? What about life on other planets in other galaxies? What about life as a state of consciousness? In the final analysis, is there not more than one concept of life on planet earth? How about an afterlife where the biological human body may not even exist at all?

Does life exist only on planet earth only as a biological cellular life with human biological bodies and other biological creatures, or can there be other states of existence such as different states of consciousness as states of existence? What about life as a state of consciousness or a state of consciousness as a state of existence? Some thinkers might state that having a consciousness is more important than having a complex human biological body, and a slow, simple minded brain and consciousness.

Before I I had to deal with and handle the claim that I was dying of stage 4 CLL cancer, I had handled the claim of being a single biological life or state of existence, or a single state of biological consciousness before my fight and battle with CLL cancer. I had studied, thought about, wondered, researched, experienced different stages and state of existence that were not purely biological. On the other hand, I had been touched by other levels of existence too.

Some might state I experienced supernatural experiences that actually proved to me that life is more than a single and limited biological state of existence, and as a state of consciousness that would help in my time of dying and death once again.

In other words, I had prepared myself for the mysteries of dying, death, and the afterlife long before my battle and fight with stage 4 cancer. So even though I was not truly ready for the first swallow of a cancer pill down my throat, I was most definitely ready. My guess is that most people do not prepare themselves for dying and death before it is too late.

If you all think about it, are you actually more than your robotic biological human bodies? Are you more importantly different states and stages of human consciousness? All human beings walk around with the basic biological structured human body: bones, blood, organs, skin, etc. with a slight difference in your specific DNA patterns. What makes each human being really special is not that they have a biological body, with a brain. What makes human beings special is what is in their individual state of human consciousness, and a consciousness that is above the biological state of consciousness. Your consciousness is more a state of life and living than your biological body, at least for some human beings.

But no human being walks around planet earth with the exactly the exact human body either, but each human biological body are indeed very similar, so what it the big deal with the biological body anyway, except that the human species needs the biological human body to keep the human species going for generations to come?

What is needed for the current and future survival of the human species is not more biological human bodies per se, as the only needed to keep the human species regenerating, but higher and more advanced states and stages of human consciousness.

But even here, on a humanly, earthly state of existence, there are so many different states of consciousness within the human hardwired human brain and mind for either good or evil purposes, for survival of the human species, or the destruction of the human species. We are all conscious of our human biological bodies. Aren’t we? Otherwise, we would not be here, as human beings and as a human species at all. But we are so much more than a biological body.

That being stated, I surely did not want my personal human biological body to stop working just ye. But that being stated, I had already left my human biological body in a number of different ways.

So, for now, back to the beginning to dealing with stage 4 CLL cancer. I kind of knew I was going to survive my dying biological body’s death because my oncologist made it clear that I would live probably live through the experience, although it was not going to be fun. In her eyes, in a soft, calm voice, she stared into my eyes almost as if she going to tell me a very dark secret that she was holding back from telling me. She stated, “For the first month or two at least, you better be ready for the biggest battle of your human biological life.” (Paraphrased.)

I almost laughed at her concern, but I did take it very seriously indeed. It was not a joke. And I had to mentally and spiritually prepare my brain and mind, along with the human biological body for a battle and fight between the CLL cancer cells, and the most powerful cancer drug for CLL cancer. When you jump off a high bridge to splash into the river below, you know you will probably survive, but there is a chance you won’t survive.

I actually almost questioned her words because when you know your biological body is completely being destroy from the inside out, words kind of do not matter anymore. But I had hoped that her words were being truthful, not just wishful thinking. I had some very powerful words myself for the condition I was in, like that this was a complete dream world from which I have to awaken from as soon as possible.

But still, I knew that the biological body needed chemicals to keep it alive, dream world or no dream world.

But she did tell me that it would be at least a year and a half to two years if I was lucky. But it also might be a life-long battle at this point in my human life. Hum! Another period of my life dealing with not only another deadly situation, the morality of my skin, bone, blood, organ biological body, but another period of proving what I knew of God, evil, metaphysics, and of course, higher states of consciousness too.

Here I go again, I thought to myself. Playing with what the human mind calls dying and death. It was not the first time, nor will it be my last time of dealing with dying and death. How about you my dear readers? How many of my readers have had a close call or closer call with dying, death, or something like it? Did it change you at all? Or are all of you the exact same human beings as you were before you own personal experience of dying and death?

Personally, for me, every experience I had with dying and death changed me forever!