Johnnie Got His Soul

52 Stories in 52 Weeks: ## 30 Johnnie Got His Soul (based on a true Navy Seal story)

By: Mr. George D. Patnoe.,'s Jr., Ambidextrous Brain + Spiritual Mind.

Johnnie got his wish; after 31 years of physical and mental preparation, Johnnie thought that he needed something new, to break the boredom of his everyday activities of the past 31 years. He wanted a new challenge, a tough challenge. Johnnie like challenges. It all started when he was only ten years old, when he was asked by a friend to go a martial artist studio for self-defense classes. Johnnie’s first his first self-defense class was an eye opener. The normal students wore a black uniform with a red and yellow dragon on the back of their jackets. Everyone took off their shoes or sneakers before they entered the studio, but the soles of their feet had been calloused by the hard wood floor. With each new disabling and killing bodily movement, Johnnie’s body and mind were being programmed to move in many of the classical arts of self-defense. He took the two hour classes three times a week for many, many years.

As Johnnie grew older, he decided to join the United States Navy to explore and discover the world. He knew that he would ride on the big aircraft carriers, where he would ride on the open seas of the earth. He knew that he would visit countries free of charge, paid for by the United States Government and the tax payers of America. As he traveled the open seas, he knew he was protected by America’s best aircraft the world had even seen since the start of mankind’s urge to kill, but more importantly, to defend itself from other killers. He also knew that he was in constant danger of having to go to war, although he hoped he would never have to see and experience battle of any kind. Yet, he knew he was being paid to help to defend America’s freedom from foreign threats.

On his assigned aircraft carrier, Johnnie had plenty of off time to rest, that is to workout or even read. One of Johnnie’s friends handled Johnnie a book entitled, ‘Johnny Got His Gun.’ * Johnnie had thought that was sort of funny, a book with his name on it; maybe it was a message of sorts. When Johnnie laid down on his bunk bed during a rest period, he started ‘Johnny Got His Gun.’ He wondered what kind of mind would and could write such a book; but also wondered how the book had influenced the millions of readers, especially soldiers who read it. After he started to read the book, he immediately became claustrophobic, as anyone who has read the book would understand. Laying in your bunk bed on an aircraft meant that there was another bunk bed only feet above you. A sense of enclosure began to surround Johnnie’s mind.

So Johnnie walked up to the aircraft’s deck, where he found a place to be alone, as he read the book. The aircraft carrier sailed through the ocean’s white waves like a steel knife that would cut through the white icing of a cake. As he continued to read ‘Johnny Got His Gun.’ he would often look up to the light blue sky and he wondered what would happen if he was in the position as poor Johnny in the book. Most soldiers did not end up like the Johnny in the book; but nevertheless, a few did. But even those who did not end up like the Johnny in the book, some still felt as if they would forever live in the memory of war and of the dreary dreamworld of killing and death.

Within a few days, Johnnie had finished the book, with a new sense of war, and it effects on its wounded soldiers. A few day after he had completed the book, he was accepted into the Navy Seals boot camp program, at the old military age of 31 years. He was the oldest of the group, but was the toughest and the best in physical and mental shape. He knew that he could complete the Navy Seals boot camp program because he had trained his mind and body to be toughest that he could be, but he wanted to be tougher; both mentally and physically. Plus, he wanted and needed some new adventure. Now, he was going to get some Navy Seals boot camp adventure.

As soon as they stepped off the bus, the Navy Seals drill instructors introduced themselves by yelling, and they never stopped yelling. Every time the drill instructors opened their mouths, they were yelling at every recruit as if the recruits were morons. After weeks of being yelled at while doing thousands of pushups and sit-ups, and running for miles and swimming for hours in both the pools and ocean, and of lifting logs above their heads with or without the help of the teams six or eight other tough guys, and of shooting off thousands of rounds (bullets) from all kinds of guns, and of treading water in the cold wavy ocean for hours at a time, and of learning about bombs and explosives and grenades and missiles and torpedoes, and of learning about radio communication skills, and of learning about surviving torture from the enemy, and of learning even more physical self-defense techniques than they had already learned in their previous lifetimes, the Navy Seal drill instructors had more surprises for those very tough guys who had not already quit the Navy Seals boot camp.

There were so many other neat tricks to figure out which of the Navy Seal recruits were tough enough both mentally and physically, but one really cruel trick was coming their way soon. ‘HEY RECRUITS. TODAY WE ARE GOING TO TRY SOMETHING NEW. GET YOUR ASSES INTO THAT COLD WATER AND USE THESE REEDS TO BREATH THROUGH UNTIL WE TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE FINISHED WITH TODAY’S SPECIAL NAVY SEAL WATER EXERCISE.’ The recruits all jumped into the clear cold lake water, and then they rinsed off the glass of their water masks. They put their water face masks on so they could see through the clear water. The only other items they had on them was a pair of swimming trunks and their waterproof watches, and the cold water surrounding their skin.

After Johnnie jumped into the water and fitted the face mask around his face, he put the long reed into his mouth and stuck it up through the water, into the air. He looked at his watch’s glowing white numbers that were the only human element in the water with Johnnie, except the other members of his boot camp team. Johnnie looked at his watch and he made a mental note of the mark of nine o’clock as he started to breath through the reed. Johnnie and his boot camp team members had long ago became accustomed to the strange water games of their drill instructors, but it seemed that time was not a factor in their water games. After all, the word Navy Seals implies the men were training to be human seals; human seals for the United State Navy. So being in the water humans was a goal to all the Navy Seals recruits, so being in the water would become second nature to the Navy Seal recruits, if that was indeed possible.

When Johnny realized that he was going to be in the cold water for a long time, while breathing through a reed, he mentally started to prepare his mind for the long haul into the mental realms of doubt and darkness, as well as of certainty and light. While Johnnie controlled his body in the cool water, to keep himself still in the water, to keep the reed above water, Johnnie breathed into the reed while he looked at the other team members. Johnny knew that it was another test of physical and mental endurance for the recruits, just in case he had to hide from the enemy for hours at a time, or just in case he had to hide from the enemy before he destroyed that assigned enemy.

After a few minutes, Johnnie quickly made himself at home under the water, like before, when he was forced to become a human water buoy above the water. His body started to cool down soon thereafter, but he was still not cold. His skin feeling the cold entering through every pore. After the first half hour, Johnnie realized that his body would remain still in the water, whether it was freezing or not, but it did not matter if his body was freezing, he knew that he would have to tough it out; unless of course he died from the cold. A human fish with hands and legs.

As his body began to shiver, Johnnie began to freeze his mind into a state of ice-cold toughness, the kind of toughness needed to survive in the cold water or to kill another human being. Without a tough mental state to survive, Johnnie learned that his body would not survive the cold water. Moreover, he began to wonder about his life above the water’s surface. He started to wonder about the message of the book, ‘Johnny Got His Gun.’ Which led to his wondering about his desire to become an official Navy Seal, especially at the end of his boot camp program. Did he really want to be labeled a Navy Seal for the rest of his life or did he just want to prove to himself that he could finish the Navy Seal boot camp? He proved that he could finish the Navy Seal boot camp, but did he want to be a Navy Seal? And he started to wonder about his life’s real purpose, or more importantly, his current goal of becoming a United States Navy Seal?

In a flash, a group of blue fishes swam up to the recruits. Hell, look at those fish. They are meant to be in this freezing water, but we humans are not fish. They must be wondering what we humans are doing under water. Maybe they are laughing at us, if they can laugh. Johnnie looked as this skin and he realized it was blueish, in the clear blue water, under the clear blue sky. Johnnie’s mind began to see the blue deep in his dreamy mind, Johnnie saw the vision of a blue coffin, only he was alive, like the Johnny, in Johnny Got His Gun. The only difference was Johnnie could escape his death trap if he wanted to surface to the water’s surface. After the blues of the sky, water, fish, and of his mind, Johnnie closed his eyes to close his brain to the color blue. So now he was in the blackness of his blindness, "he had screamed without voice until his throat hurt he fell back into the womb back into the loneliness and the blackness and the terrible silence." pg.93.

Slowly at first, but then quickly, Johnnie had felt as if he had become the Johnny in ‘Johnny God His Gun.’ He pretended to experience the book’s message. He could not see anything, nor could he hear anything. He felt as if he his body was a frozen piece of skin and bones and blood, not being able to move. Johnnie freezing body enable his mind to often escape from the cold, into different states of mind, when he was not conscious of his freezing skin and bones and blood. John saw the moment of no return; that is when he realized that he was temporally the Johnny in ‘Johnny God His Gun.’ ‘How would I live if I become Johnny in the water instead of on a hospital bed. What if I was trapped in this water until my last breath. Would I indeed die in the darkness of my mind, in the blue water? And when I am allowed to surface from this watery death, will I get shot in an international political war with no real purpose? Would I get blown up like Johnny? A global world with no end of global wars; maybe until the end of humankind, until the end of the human race. How screwed up would that be for the supposedly intelligent human race. Would I have to hurt a person who might also become a Johnny, in ‘Johnny Got His Gun?’ How would I feel then? Would I go to a mental hell for eternity or what is the story with life after death? I am to young to find out about life after death. I want to live life, but not like Johnny!

I could just open my mouth right now and swallow this water and die. Now that would be funny to those drill instructors. They would have lost one of their own because they pushed to hard. But then again they have to push hard, to make us tough for war. War is tough, being a soldier is tougher. When are those drill instructors going to let us out of this freezing water? When are those politicians going to stop sending us to war? Do I want to die as a Navy Seal or is there a better way to die?’ There has to be a better way to die; like being a teacher of religion or something.’

Five hours later, a few drill instructors jumped into the water and they gave the recruits their thumps up sign of approval for their recruits to ascend to the surface of the water. Johnnie and his water buddies slowly ascended to the surface of the water, where they grasped for air and oxygen, like normal human beings. Yet, they crawled out of the water like the first fish that crawled out of the water millions of millions of years ago. As they hobbled out of the water, Johnnie had decided that he was going to surprise his drill instructors with his own surprise. But he was utterly exhausted to even try to utter a single word, not to mention making complete statements to his very tough drill instructors; statements that would make his drill instructors even anger and madder than they already were in those twenty four hours of each day.

A week later, Johnny walked into the bathroom and he looked into the mirror. He asked himself, ‘Am I really going to do it?’ I only have two weeks to go before I will be a true blue Navy Seal, but I do not want to die a Navy Seal. Johnnie began to walk out of the bathroom when he heard the words, ‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING RECRUIT?’ Johnnie yelled back, ‘I AM PREPARING MYSELF FOR A STATEMENT TO YOU, DRILL INSTRUCTOR, SIR.’ The drill instructor yelled back, ‘AND WHAT MAY THAT STATEMENT BE, RECRUIT?’ Johnnie replied, ‘I QUIT!’ The drill instructor responded with, ‘WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU QUIT?’

Johnnie said, ‘SIR, I QUIT TRYING TO BE A KILLING SEAL.’ The drill instructor yelled back, ‘YOU ONLY HAVE TWO WEEKS TO GO BEFORE YOU ARE A NAVY SEAL. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, RECRUIT?’ Johnnie walked away from the Navy Seal drill instructor and he walked straight into the command office and he said, ‘I quit.’ (It was not that easy for Johnny in real life) And then he walked off to his barracks, packed up his personal belongings, and he walked off the base. Of course, he was still in the Navy, so he had to report back to the normal United States Navy. Although he knew he was free of being an official Navy Seal, the commanders knew he was still prepared for the job of a Navy Seal. He soon learned that he was only partly freed from the title of Navy Seal.

Within a month of returning to the regular navy, to his regular navy job of working on the big aircraft carrier, the United States went to war with Iraq. Johnnie was assigned to the Special Forces Covert Operation that entered Iraq before the formal invasion began. Johnnie was called into action because he was an unofficial Navy Seal, and the United States military knew it. Behind enemy lines, Johnnie and his team members walked very sneakingly and ran and hid behind rocks and houses and buildings until they very sneakingly slid into the building where their contact was supposed to meet them. Instead, Johnnie was met with a gun rising up to his head from the side of a hidden door. Without thinking, Johnnie automatically swung his gun in one hand around to deflect his opponent’s gun up against the wall; while his other hand had already thrusted his long, sharp knife into his opponent’s skin, far into his lung. With a pull and a twist of the knife, the Iraqi was hurt.

Johnnie looked into the Iraqi’s eyes as he saw death engulf his soul. Johnnie knew that the Iraqi quickly realize that he was about to leave his world for another world, but that was not Johnnie’s concern. Nevertheless, Johnnie could not escape hearing the Iraqi’s lungs last gulp of air as his opponent started to drop to the floor like a rubber dummy. But before he hit the floor, Johnnie’s knife craved the side of the neck of the already dying opponent. As Johnnie looked into his eyes, he felt the Iraqi’s soul start moving away from the skin and bone body. In one moment of absolute clarity, Johnnie felt a part of his soul change too; although he did not understand it, nor could he explain it, but he knew that he saw death in the Iraqi’s eyes. The Iraqi was indeed dead.

As Johnnie’s team member’s were taking out the rest of the Iraq military force, Johnnie said out loud to the dead guy, ‘It is better than being Johnny Got His Gun.’ But he was not sure if he meant it.

A few years later, after Johnnie had been honorably discharged from the Navy, Johnnie started to have a few recalling dreams about his first kill in the Iraq war. He did not feel guilty about the kill, but he wished that the recalling dreams would stop. Johnnie knew that maybe killing another human being was not all that fun and glamorous, but what was done was done. Johnnie needed to become adjusted to civilian life again, meaning that he needed to get a new job in a new occupation for a new life. Sometimes he felt as if he needed a new soul too, but how could that happen?

Johnnie started thinking about his pre-Navy Seals martial art training and he thought all of those breathing exercises that accompanied the zen saying on the dojo’s walls. CONTROL YOUR BREATHING. BREATHING IS ALL IMPORTANT. Johnnie became to think that maybe he could reclaim his sleep by healing people’ breathing problems. Johnnie took a long walk one day on the beach, and he remember the day he had visited a military buddy in the military hospital. His friend had a punctured lung, but the hospital staff took care of the punctured lung and his friend. Instead of being a paid killer for the military, why not be working for in the health care field, where he could save people. That would be good new beginning, away from the military life. Instead of taking the breath out of people, why not help them get their breath back.

Immediately, Johnnie researched the college courses in the health care field. He applied for his first college courses for learning about the human respiratory system and hospital care. Johnnie learned about the order of the respiratory system; Air moves through the body in the following order: Nostrils or mouth, nasal cavity, pharynx, larynx, trachea, thoracic, bronchi, alveoli. Johnnie learned about the bronchi, the lungs, the diaphragm, respiratory muscles, ventilation, inhalation, exhalation, circulation, gas exchange, and conditions of the respiratory systems; and a whole lot more, including hospital procedures, especially in the emergency rooms.

Johnnie worked hard and he earned his two year degree in Respiratory Science. Soon thereafter, Johnnie was hired by a hospital and he became an official hospital employee. His first night as a hospital emergency room respiratory technician was a busy one. When the first ambulance drove up to the emergency room entrance, the first patient was wheeled into the emergency room. Johnnie looked at the bloody knife wound, and he knew what to do, even as his mind recalled sticking in the knife into that Iraqi, but not for long. He was busy taking care of the business of the moment; no time for bad memories.

Johnnie looked into the patient’s eyes as he saw the real hope of life engulfing his soul. Johnnie saw how the patient quickly realize that he did not want to leave his world for another world, and that was now Johnnie’s concern. Nevertheless, Johnnie could not escape hearing the patient’s lungs gulping for air as he slid his strong hands around the patient’s neck to position it into the proper position. As Johnnie looked into his eyes, he felt the patient’s soul begging for life. In one moment of absolute clarity, Johnnie felt a part of his soul was healing too; that he too, wanted to live; although he did not understand it, nor could he explain it. But he knew that he saw life in the patient’s eyes, and more importantly, he saw a life for himself. More than ever!

He helped the emergency room technicians strip off the blood soaked shirt and they quickly realized that the patient had a punctured lung. After performing the needed tests, they realized that the knife had just nicked the lung, causing it to collapse like a punctured balloon. Johnnie and the others fixed the poor guy’s lung in no time at all and he was breathing again like a normal human being. That was first of many such punctured lung healings and many other respiratory problems that Johnnie would help people overcome, every day as a hospital emergency room respiratory technician.

For the first time in a long time, Johnnie felt like a real human being again; he had regained the human spirit to persevere life instead of taking life. He was free from the politicians who sent young men to war for whatever reason; to get blown up by the bombs or shot by bullets by other soliders of other politicians. When Johnnie had finished his first week of work, he slept like he had not slept for a long time; but not like the Johnny in ‘Johnny Got His Gun!’

* Johnny Got His Gun: By Dalton Trumbo (ISBN 0-553-27432-5)